The 2 Magic Words for Loving RelationshipsNov 04, 2022
Stop Fixing. Start Listening.
And Learn these 2 Magic 🪄 Words
The most healing thing we can do when someone expresses a challenge is to simply BE with them – to love them IN the challenge – and to trust that they have everything they need within them to face and work through their challenge.
I know, I know. We're humans. We LOVE to fix, solve, and figure stuff out. And there is a time and place for taking action... but when someone is hurting... consider now is not the time for fixing. Now is the time for listening, for loving, for compassionately being there for them.
Early in my relationship with Eric when I would share my challenges or hurts and he would so lovingly try to tell me all the practical things I should do to fix or prevent my challenge.
And while there WAS so much loving and genuine support for me in his words, I rejected them and didn’t feel heard and understood.
I just wanted him to be with me.
I just wanted him to hear me.
And so I taught him these two magic words, and life has never been the same since.
The two magic words are: “That Sucks”.
It’s not important that I got these two magic words from watching an episode of Parks and Recreation.
What’s important is that they work.
Try it next time you’re supporting someone that’s really going through it. And be amazed at how powerful the two magic words: ‘That sucks” has on really allowing your loved one to feel and experience that you’re with them, and in loving compassion for them.
The Listener’s First Job is to Love
- The listener’s prime and most important focus is to love the sharer: to hold an energy of loving support for whatever is shared.
[This includes being 100% focused on the sharer, looking in each other’s eyes, smiling and sharing comments of authentic, loving support!]
The Sharer Has Their Own Answers and Clarity
- The listener trusts that the highest answers and best solutions already live within the sharer. The listeners job is simply to listen, and to reflect back what they heard so that the sharer might awaken to their own clarity within.
[Ideally it should be the responsibility of the sharer to ask for input, suggestions and ideas as they’re guided. The listener’s job is truly to love and listen, and only if they’re asked should they give suggestions and ideas.]
That’s It: Love and Trust
- No matter what, the listener keeps that loving energy flowing to the sharer, and trusts that the sharer has all their own answers.
[The listener’s job could best be described as a loving rose colored mirror. When the listener reflects back what the sharer says, with love, compassion and support, the sharer is able to see their own dreams and challenges more clearly, and greater clarity and answers often come present in this process.]
I’m sending my Light, Love and hugs to you and your relationships.
And I encourage you to show up in your relationships, as lovingly, as vulnerably, and as supportively as you can.
All my Love,
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